yeah, so much for continuing that dream. anywayz, im in chicago now and its good. i stayed with my grandmother for one night and it was wierd. she has just become a 2nd time widow and most of her friends are dying, so she has a unique outlook on death and seems to have come to a calmed acceptance of life and death. here is a picture of what i will be seeing in my way home in a few days. from here i, going to st lou, then across i-70 to colorado. i dont know when im leaving here though, cause breujeria is playing on thursday, but thats far away, and costs more everyday.

[oh, also, i could have thrown up on billy corrigan…oportunities past…damn]

ok, i just had the longest, most vivid dreamof my life, here goes:

i start off in a jungle type setting with a group of people about the size of a high school class. it’s muddy and wet as we walk through trees in a thick fog, lead by an onimous, but not frieghtening leader type. we come across a large hill and begin to disperse, but all walking onto the hill, the trees thin out and the fog becomes less dense but remains an obvious presence. when i reach the hill i find that it is actually a large metal monument of some sort, made of brass or copper. all the others are finding individual graves on the hill, but i cannot find any that i recognize. at the hills top there is a large tomb that looks like a battleship half buried into the hill, this ships beck is made of various objects, but most notably a small black corset. i wander through this area and become drawn to one grave that resembles a motorcycle. sitting at its bass is a girl with black hair and dressed sterotypically goth like. i watch her for a bit then walk down the hill after noticing a crowd gathering around an enormous statue resembling a mountain of rats. with the others, i begin to climb around on this and upon closer inspection learn a story about vince neil’s son being murdered by rip torn, and that now that torn is running for some government office, neils’ fans won’t stand for it, this is accompained by a series of political cartoons dealing with torns campaign. after this i go back to the top of the hill and pass the same girl at the grave who is now leaving with everyone else. i continue to the battleship and tear the corset off. i carry this back to the motorcycle and lay it there, then follow the rest to some sort of candle making factory staffed by the cast of frida…

theres alot more after this so, to be continued……

so i just read 3 books in 2 days and now my mind is full of thoughts of things that i have screwed up in my life and how i would have been better off handling things differently. this is not a good frame of mind to be in while holed up on a farm for another week. mostly these thought sare about certain people, but alot are in life in general. although i’ve had thoughts like these before, having them all come at once is not that fun at all. i want to have some big moral lesson to hit me like a ton of bricks, but who knows………

the pixies are good, the fact that they are reuniting makes them even better. this make me happier than i was yesterday, this along with sleep.

ok. this weekend comes pretty close to topping the jersey one. here’s the breakdown, starting saturday:
6:30a.m.ish:wake up, leave to go ride philly with joe and 2 of his friends.
philly highlights: seeing “jersey” joe from colorado and the x-gaymes park, joe’s friends telling me i drove like frogger, skaters and bikers riding love park with no hassels from anyone. word
5:p.m.: leave philly and those guys behind, drive to nyc cause harper is being a yuppie bastard and chillin there from the weekend.
8: after getting a bit lost and driving through bed-stuy blasting dead prez, i find harper at mark and tommie’s place. i parked in front and then walk numerous blocks trying to find the place only to see harper while going back to my car. we then go inside and i meet mascha. we walk the williamsburg bridge to the xlr8r magazine 10th aniv party and see crack w.a.r. [we are rock] which is cool cause i like them and tommie knows them so its 2xcool. their dancer come close to molesting harper, he gets out unscathed. then we go to a club were tommie is djing a private party for someone from fischerspooner, i meet lavy and amjad more craziness with people i don’t know. famous people were pointed out/met but i know nothing. then we go to a third place called the hole and i laugh at minor threat being played in a bar. someone finds a marker and we all become walking billboards, also we manage to pick up two italians on thier last night here[?]. we leave/wrestle out the front door and the entire way to amjad’s apt. where the violences continues and my nose blows up after harper jumps on my face. drinks are spilled, bannanas are thrown, we leave at 6:30 in the a.m.
2:00p.m. [sunday]wake up, watch spinal tap, eat breakfast at 4:00, drive back to the farm.

for some photographic proof

theres alot more but theres too much……and no of that is really that great, just fun

the greatest band ever*

[i say this never having heard them, just from the website]

in other news, my back is dead, thats what sleeping on a concrete floor will do to you……….recently i’ve been thinking about the future, and it scares me, but not in a all consuming/world will destroy me way, just in that im in debt and don’t want to be fucked for ever but im having fun right now kinda way. i think its cause i may not have the cash i need to get home, and talking with my parents has gotten really annoying lately cause they do focus on the all consuming type future outlook for me, so then i just avoid them and they get ever more upset with me.

life is fun, i jst have to remeber that and wish everyone else knew it too…

i guess bronson got his wish, cause now charles is dead. in other news i applied for a gas station job here in maryland. if that doesn’t pan out i’m also looking for plasma donation places so i have some more cash to make it home with. from the looks of it i have a 2400 mile trip home if i go all the places that i’m looking to visit. rough itenerary for sep/oct:
1-17:bel air, md
17-19:woodward, pa
19-22:binghampton, ny
22-24:toronto, on
24-26:fenton, mi
26-28:chicago, il
29- 1:st louis, mo
octt 2:greeley, co

oh, and it looks like sherwin, joe, and i are defintly starting a bike company to be named at a later date.

hehehehehe……….ok, yesterday i oficially became a “pro” bike rider. theres a contest series called the mss, and they had an event in dulles VA so joe and i went down to check it out. the course looked fun so we found out that we could ride it more if we entered, and that entry is free, so we did. then a crap load of pros show up and we get to compete with them. then all the people in the crowd see us riding against pros, then every body wants us to autograph everything they own, then little kids won’t leave us alone. its quite a self-esteem boost to have people wanting this, but also annoying when you want to ride [ahh the cost of fame…] so anyway, this thing should be on tv in a month or so, i’ll keep you posted. the only real downside to the day was that a 15 year old girl told me that i have “a real cute bike.” but that was offset by watching some mom push her chest/boob out and asked joe to sign her “shirt” as her son watched and i fell to the ground laughing. all in all, we hadf a good day and met some maryland people to hang out with when i move here in a few months.